Setting Boundaries in A Godly Relationship

It’s our first blog post in October 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

And if it’s not too late, I’d like to wish you a happy new month too and of course a happy weekend 😁

We’re kick-starting this month with an exciting blog post. So, let’s get right into it.

Being in a relationship is an exciting thing, especially for believers. This is because we get into relationships with marriage in mind.

As the relationship progresses, we become more attracted to our partners. This is necessary because you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone you are not attracted to at all.

But, we mustn’t let the attraction and excitement make us indulge in sinful acts.

The Bible is clear that God created sex and its pleasures for man and wife to enjoy in marriage. This means that anything sexual outside of marriage is a sin and not pleasing to God.

So, how do you set boundaries in a relationship?

1. Set boundaries from the start.

You must have a conversation with your partner about what you want physical expressions to be.

How far is too far for both of you? Decide if you want to hold hands, hug, or shake. Be clear from the beginning. Your boundaries should not be to only avoid penetrative sex. Remember, the Bible says to “flee from any appearance of evil”.

2. Be on the same page with your partner.

If you are with someone who does not uphold the same values, you are likely to compromise in a matter of time. So, make sure you discuss this before you get into a relationship with anyone. Sexual purity should be your stance as a believer.

3. Be accountable to someone.

It helps to have someone you and your partner are both accountable to. You can ask them questions and they can provide counsel to get you back on track if you ever cross the line. The person must be someone you both respect and isn’t judgemental.

4. Avoid being alone.

It is true that sometimes, you need to be alone with your partner. Yet, it shouldn’t be all the time. You should have people (family or friends) around. For the times you are alone in a room, you should consider leaving the room door open.

5. Do not sleep in the same bed or live together.

Don’t do it. Do not travel alone and do not share a bed. Most definitely, do not move in with each other before marriage. There may be legitimate reasons to end up spending the night in the same bed and nothing may happen. But, it would not always be that way if you keep sharing a bed. Cohabitation is a slippery slope you do not want to be on.

6. Set a date.

If your partner has checked all your non-negotiables, then it may be safe to set the date you intend to get married. Are you getting married in 2 years or 6 months? Be specific about it so that you avoid dating like it’s a hobby.

7. Pace yourself.

For instance, you could decide to give it a while before sharing a hug or holding hands. Physical attraction will keep growing and pacing will help you to stay pure.

The Bible calls your body a temple of God and also admonishes that you keep the marriage bed undefiled. Regardless of how you feel, the word of God would and should always be the standard.

Even if you’ve crossed the bounds, you can still get it right. You don’t have to keep walking outside of God’s word because of a mistake you made in the past or present.

It is possible to have a chastely romantic relationship with the help of God’s spirit in you. Trust Him to help you and don’t believe the lie that sexual purity is impossible.

I pray that God strengthens you and your partner and He helps you walk in His word. Amen!

Share with me how you set boundaries in your relationship in the comments.

Also, share this post with as many believers as you can.

Love,

Sike Bankz 💛